Reach out and help someone

"RallyWrench" (rndlitebmw) 02/02/2017 at 01:17 • Filed to: Feels

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Have you ever seen someone and just felt the need to reach out to them, and missed your chance?

I was with a client at the shop today and saw a young woman walk by, didn’t look more than 15, with a guitar on her back and a meek countenance. She looked distraught and fragile, crying uncontrollably. I’m not really a “I just have a feeling” kind of person, but I felt powerfully that she might need help, real help, professional help, whatever. By the time I extricated myself from the client, she was out of sight. I grabbed keys and jumped in a car to look for her because her direction would probably have meant only a couple of streets she’d be on within a couple of blocks, but I didn’t find her and I feel like I failed.

Maybe it wasn’t anything deep, teenage drama, a hard guitar lesson, a bad audition, a stupid boy or girl rejecting her... maybe it was nothing, but maybe not. Maybe her family sucks, or she was suicidal, or thinking of hurting herself, or addicted, or hungry, or just needed a hug or somebody anybody to reach out and ask “are you OK?” and god damn do I hope she’s smiling and safe somewhere tonight, playing her guitar.

Don’t miss your chance, Oppo.

Car for your time.

smobgirl > RallyWrench 02/02/2017 at 01:49

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In high school I had a crush on a guy a grade ahead of me. We were in the same group of friends but weren’t particularly close. I had stayed after school one afternoon and I saw him as I was walking downstairs to leave. He looked...probably like that girl did to you. I wanted to give him a hug or say something but I was shy and thought I’d probably make the situation worse, so I just sort of waved and left. He killed himself that night.

I like to hope it made me a more helpful and supportive person...it probably has with my students. It’s probably just made me personally more vulnerable on a social level - I seem to attract sociopaths like flies.

For Sweden > RallyWrench 02/02/2017 at 02:11

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She’d probably be relieved I didn’t bother her tbh

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > smobgirl 02/02/2017 at 04:19

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I’ve also lost high school acquaintances to suicide, two neighbor kids actually. Played/hung out with them a few times growing up and into high school, but they were younger and we never grew close and didn’t share any mutual friends. It still hurts and affects you in ways you never could’ve imagined.

I guess I’m trying to say, I know them feels (without the crush part). *internet hug*

AuthiCooper1300 > RallyWrench 02/02/2017 at 04:55

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You are a good person.

And yes, we all underestimate sometimes how important it is to say “are you OK?”, even if it is a total stranger.

At least you cared and you made an effort.

AuthiCooper1300 > smobgirl 02/02/2017 at 07:13

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Suicide, and teenage suicide in particular are hugely complex subjects. But remember this: in most cases people do not commit suicide on impulse. It is quite likely he had taken the decision way before that day. It is quite likely too that if you had talked to him, given him a hug, etc you would just have delayed the inevitable. It would simply have happened a couple of days later or next week.

You were not a trained professional to recognise the signs that hinted at what was going to follow, so the outcome would have probably been the same. Heck, not even his family or his teachers –who supposedly dear with youngster’s angst every day– were able to see it coming.

Having said that I understand how traumatic it must have been (and still is) for you.

RallyWrench > AuthiCooper1300 02/02/2017 at 10:14

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Thanks, I hope so.

Jobjoris > RallyWrench 02/02/2017 at 12:55

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Can’t help you on this one bro. At least you tried. First World Teenage problems are the worst.

RallyWrench > Jobjoris 02/02/2017 at 13:00

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Thanks man. I just worried, still worry, that it was more than just run of the mill teenage angst. A lot of girls (friends) cried on my shoulder when we were teens over drama and bullshit, she seemed worse.

CaptDale - is secretly British > RallyWrench 02/02/2017 at 18:23

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Yeah, I know what you mean. Those are hard situation sometimes. I am glad you went looking to at least check. Props to you. I hope she is safe and smiling too. Really, good on you.

RallyWrench > smobgirl 02/04/2017 at 12:05

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That had to be crushing, I’m sorry for the loss and that you had to go through that. Glad you’ve become stronger for it though, it’s all anyone can do.  I just fear that’s the state of mind this young woman was in, it was an unusual feeling I got. Still nothing to that effect in police reports though, so I hope for the best.